Nanayhood

Dear Nanay,  May nakapagtanong ba sa'yo ngayong araw kung kamusta ka?  Maaaring meron, pero agad na kasunod nun ay "kamusta na ang anak mo?" Sa mga ordinaryong araw, may nagtanong ba kung kumain ka na? Maaaring meron, pero bago ka pa man makasagot, ang kasunod agad ay, "ang mga bata, kumain na ba?" Sa mga panahong may sakit ka, may nakaalala ba? Maaaring meron, pero kasunod nun ay ang mga katagang "mabuti na lang din at ikaw, kesa anak mo ang nagkasakit." Ganiyan talaga kapag Nanay ka. Uunahin din nilang isipin ang kapakanan ng anak mo bago pa ikaw.  Ikaw na akala ng lahat ay palaging malakas. Ikaw na akala ng lahat ay kinakaya at kakayanin ang kahit anong hirap.  Ikaw na akala ng lahat ay okay lang.  Ikaw na nakalimutan na ang IKAW.  Nanay, alam kong napapagod ka din at nahihirapan.  Hindi ikaw si Superwoman. Wala kang superpowers. Hindi ka din Fairy God Mother at wala kang magic wand.  Walang dudang kakayanin mo ang lahat para sa iyo...

  MAHIRAP ANG MAGING NANAY, lalo na sa panahon NGAYON. Parang laging may kumpetisyon sa pinakamagaling na ina at pinakamagaling na anak. Parang laging nasa isang malaking entablado na sa bawat salita at kilos mo at ng anak mo ay may mga taong nanonood. Para kang nasa isang mall at napapalibutan ng mga nagbebenta ng produkto at sinasabing, "Ito ang bilhin mo dahil ito ang pinakamaganda." Palaging nagtatalo ang isip mo sa mga bagay-bagay. Para kang namamangka sa dalawang ilog at hindi mo alam kung alin ang mas mabuting patunguhan. Sabi nila, maganda ang gatas ng ina at pinakamasustansiya ito. Pero sabi din nila, dapat uminom ng formula milk ang iyong anak para mas tumalino, tumaba at lumusog ang bata. Sabi nila, huwag mong sanayin sa karga at huwag agad kukuhanin kapag ang sanggol ay umiyak. Pero sabi din nila, minsan lang sila maging bata. Kargahin mo hanggat gusto niya dahil darating ang araw na hindi mo na ito magagawa dahil malaki na siya. Sabi nila, magtrabaho ka para may ...

  POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION. Paano nga ba ito labanan? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin alam. Hindi ko rin sigurado kung pinagdaanan ko ba siya o pag dadaanan sa susunod. Pero, isa lang ang sigurado ko. Iba iba tayo ng pagkatao. Iba iba tayo ng pagtanggap sa mga responsibilidad na dala ng pagiging Nanay, lalo na kung first time. Maaaring ang masaya sa akin ay malungkot para sa'yo. Maaaring ang madali sa akin ay mahirap para sa'yo. Maaring ang WALA LANG para sa akin, ay BIG Deal pala sa'yo. Kaya kung sakaling malaman mong may Nanay na depressed, o sobrang stressed, huwag mong isipin na nagiinarte lang siya. Kung sakaling malaman mong nahihirapan siya sa mga bagay na napagdaanan mo na din, huwag mong ikumpara ang sarili mo sa kaniya. Kinaya mo man, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun na kaya din ng lahat ng Nanay sa mundo. Hindi porke't masaya ka sa pagiging Nanay, Hindi porke't kinakaya mo ang lahat, Ay may karapatan ka nang husgahan ang iba. Ang kailangan nating mga Nanay ay suporta...

Kapag Nanay ka na, maraming matang nakatingin. Lahat sila nagmamasid. Lahat sila may sinasabi. Kapag namamayat ka, "Naku, pataba ka! Nagka-anak ka lang nagkaganiyan ka na." Kapag nananaba ka, "Ang taba mo! Nagka-anak ka lang nagkaganiyan ka na." Kapag nagayos ka at nagpaparlor, "Wow! Nagdadalaga ah." Tapos sa isip nila, "Paganda ng paganda, di naman maasikaso ang anak niya." Kapag di ka nagayos at walang time magpaparlor, "Nagka-anak lang nalosyang na." Kapag iisa ang anak mo, "Sundan mo na. Mahirap yan kapag wala siyang kapatid. Maigi pati ang sunod-sunod para iisang hirap sa pagpapalaki." Kapag nabuntis ng isa o dalawang taon ang pagitan, "Buntis ka na naman? Pa-ilan na yan?" Kapag may trabaho ka, "Paano ang anak mo? Sino nagaalaga? Naku, mahirap kapag hindi Nanay ang nagaalaga." Kapag wala kang trabaho, "Nasa bahay ka lang? Buti ka pa eh. Walang ginagawa." Kapag kasama mo sa trabaho ang anak mo...

  Motherhood is believing in love at first sight. It`s loving someone more than you love yourself and caring for a little one who merely depends on you for survival. It`s prioritizing your baby`s needs over yours. Motherhood is doing everything and anything just to make sure your baby gets the best of life. It`s coming to terms with unplanned and unwanted Caesarean section just to make sure she will be safe in coming out to this world. It`s breastfeeding a baby over and over again even when you`re in pain and exhaustion. It`s nursing and rocking her for more than an hour to put her to sleep only to wake up after 30 minutes then staying awake with her for two hours that night. Motherhood is being a mother 24/7. It`s coming to work with her, teaching during class hours and nursing during vacant time. It`s learning how to do everything with one hand only because the other hand is holding her. It`s taking a bath in less than 2 minutes and being patient for every unfinished task at home...

My child,  I hope you know how lucky I am to be your Nanay. Every day is a reminder of how wonderful God's plan is for you. You are growing up so fast, and my only fear is that, when you grow up, you won't remember every single detail of the first three years of your life. You won't remember how I cried and smiled at the same time when I saw you for the very first time. You were crying close to my face as if saying, "Nanay, this new world of mine is so big and so loud. I need you to comfort me." But the only reply I gave was "Hello, baby!" Then, I gave you your first kiss. You won't remember the nights turned into days, cuddling, breastfeeeding and nappy changing. You won't remember the people who came to your Christening and 1st birthday. You were so happy to see every one that you didn't hesitate to give each one a smile, a wave, a kiss, or a hug. You won't remember how proud Tatay and I were when you reached your milestones. You won...

Malusog at malakas na pangangatawan. ‘Yan ang hiling ng bawat magulang para sa kanilang mga anak. Pero paano nga ba ito sisimulan? Tamang KAIN. (Kid and Infant Nutrition) ang sagot diyan. LIMANG  dapat tandaan sa pagsunod sa Tamang Kain base sa aking karanasan: 1. Magbasa, mag-aral, at magsaliksik.  Hindi ko matututunan ang tungkol sa Tamang Kain kung hindi ako naglaan ng panahon at pinag-aralan ang tamang pagpapakain kay baby kapag nasa edad anim na buwan na siya. Marami akong sinalihang Facebook groups, gaya na lamang ng Breastfeeding Pinays na nag-po-promote ng Tamang Kain. Malaking tulong ito dahil lumawak ang aking kaalaman at nabuksan ang aking isipan pagdating sa tamang pagpapakain kay baby. 2. Maging open-minded. Madaming prinsipyo ang Tamang Kain na taliwas sa nakasanayan natin. Gaya ng mga sumusunod: Bawal ang asin, asukal, at kahit ano pang pampalasa sa batang isang taon pababa. At kung kayang wala talaga kahit lagpas dalawang taon, bakit hindi? Mahigit ...

Zero Screentime is really beneficial but it's hard to do. I really admire families who can do it.  But for those who can't avoid screentime for their kids, just like us, don't feel bad. You can still choose to give your children LIMITED screentime and choose the right kind of shows for them. I regret that I learned about this show just recently. Thank you to @mamatheexplorer. These are just some of the many life lessons that kids can get from it.  "All feelings are valid." "Use your words to express how you feel so that the people around you can understand you and can help you." "Sometimes, you feel two feelings at the same time, and that's okay. You can be excited now and scared later. You can be happy now and sad later." "There is no need to compete with others. Your best is the best for you." "Even adults feel scared, too." "Friends always help each other." "Getting mad is normal. Calm yours...

"Tahan na! Huwag ka nang umiyak."  "Hindi naman 'yan masakit. Okay lang 'yan." "Kumain ka na. Kapag hindi ka kumain, hindi ka pwedeng maglaro." "Huwag kang malikot kung hindi papaluin ka ng Tatay mo." Ito ang madalas na sinasabi ng mga magulang ngayon sa kanilang mga anak. Ito rin ang palaging sinasabi sa atin ng ating mga magulang noon.  "Hayaan mong umiyak sa umaga para lumakas ang baga." "Huwag mong buhatin palagi. Baka masanay sa karga." Ito naman ang madalas na sinasabi ng matatanda sa mga bagong magulang, na siya ring nakagisnan na nila noong sila din ay magkaroon ng anak.  Wala namang masama dito. Naging parte na din ito ng tipikal na pagpapalaki sa mga bata. Pero kung pakaiisipin,  sinasabi o ginagawa ba natin ito para sa ating mga anak o para sa ikaaalwan natin bilang mga magulang? Noong bago ipanganak si Mav, ito lang din ang alam kong gagawin ko sa pagpapalaki sa kaniya. Kung ano ang sinasabi sa ...

Dear Nanay,  I just want to say that I know everything about you. When I was still inside your womb I knew how excited you were to hold me in your arms. I felt your fears and your intense pain during the hours of labor. I saw the tears of joy that rolled down your face the first time you saw me. I knew then that you would be the best Nanay in the world. I know how proud you are for every milestone and every achievement I make. I see how you try to document my "firsts." I know how you try to keep yourself from posting everything about me in social media. I know how exhausted you are after a day's work yet you still manage to play with me and act crazily just to make me smile. I know that you try to keep calm and not get mad when I become clumsy and careless, like spilling water on the floor, breaking a glass or a plate or writing with colorful pens or crayons on the wall. I know I annoy you with my tantrums during nappy change and bath time.  I know that while ...

If you want to make your child good at Math,    or at memorizing, or at singing and dancing, or if you want to make him the most talented, give him follow-up milk.  If you want your child to be the tallest, the healthiest and the smartest  kid in town, give him vitamins. If your child turned one year old, choose the best grown-up milk and vitamins. That's what we see and learn from tv commercials and advertisements. Very convincing. Since we, as parents, only want what's best for our kids, we easily fall into their trap. Plus the fact that we live in a society where vitamins and toddler milk seem to be the healthiest options for children and the greatest advice one can give to a first time mom.  Tapos nagtatanong tayo kung anong sikreto ng mga Lolo at Lola natin kung bakit malakas at masigla pa din sila kahit matanda na. Nagtataka din tayo kung bakit madaming nauusong sakit ngayon na hindi naman halos kilala noon. Bakit nga ba? We always hear it's be...

How to teach a child? I think you don't have to teach her. You just have help her EXPLORE, EXPOSE and EXPERIENCE. From there, learning will take place.   Before Mav, I used to think that the best way     to raise a child is by teaching her everything. I told myself before that at an early age, I will teach her how to read, how to write, how to count numbers, how to tell the colors and how to tell the shapes. I imagined myself teaching her how to play the piano or play the guitar, even the violin. I promised myself I will make sure that she'll learn to dance ballet, or sing the highest melody. But everything changed when Mav was born. Thanks to social media, where I learned a lot. Had I not read about numerous  principles of parenting and child development, we could be teaching Mav, instead of exposing her. Perhaps, you can also consider the difference. You can do good, but there is always a better way.  Good: Look at these letters, say A, B...

"Share your toys." "Let them borrow your things." We often say these words to our toddlers but they still won't share. The only answer we get is, "No. Mine!" Are they being selfish at an early age? Will they grow up to be like this? Of course, not! My little one plays with children who don''t know how to share. Being a toddler who has a very absorbent mind, she does whatever is done to her with other kids. She also doesn't share. As a mother, we want to teach our kids good manners as early as possible. We want them to be respectful and compassionate. One time, I got really sad and bothered upon observing that my toddler looks selfish for not letting a new kid in the neighborhood borrow her things. I felt bad when I saw her snatching her toys away from the kid. What's really bothering was the negative image of her to the kid's mom. She might think that my child is "madamot."  Then, I remembered Maria Montesorri...